I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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