I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
