She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize