I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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