We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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