apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
