nut hugger
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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