The maid of honor just puked.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
