oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize