I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
