Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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