I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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