fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
