I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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