Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
