I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
