this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
