I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i don't like sucking hair
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
cat food counts as protein by the way
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
