I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
