They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
