the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
