please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize