if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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