I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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