i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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