I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
