Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
