Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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