just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize