my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize