um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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