don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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