Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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