Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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