my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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