idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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