I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
