farters have to be the big spoon...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
