I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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