dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
