Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
