it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got inside last night via doggy door
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize