just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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