and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
