i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
