I'm so fucking centered right now
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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