i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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