I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
