I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
