We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you never un-have a 4some
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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