i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
