Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
