i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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