Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize