There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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