I could have mohawked her pubes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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