i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
