i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just want to make out with him forever
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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