shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
