I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
