I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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