You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
