He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize