I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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