ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
