There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
