Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
