just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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