You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
