so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
