Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
