yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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