Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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