I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize