the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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