i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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