I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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