Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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