oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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