You're so nebulous sometimes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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